05th January, 2009.
I was borned on 28th August 1981 in the lower middle class family. I am the youngest son of my father. I have two elder brothers. We all lived in joint family in the local area of Inder Puri, New Delhi, which is now urban area of West Delhi. I was studied in Rockwale Propretary School of local area. I was always at the top of my class. Teachers always used to like me. After completion of 2nd class in the school my family was shifted to Gurgaon because of the job of my father. We also had our first house in Gurgaon having two rooms. It was very beautiful for me to live there because of my friends, location and caring neighbors. I got admission in DAV Public School of Gurgaon Sec 14, which was known to be No. 1 School of that time. From there my struggle starts begun as a “half deaf boy”. My parents told me of this problem after one year. When I was entered in class IIIrd it seems to be normal for me. The only problem arises during dictation given by the teacher. I was supposed to give my dictation test when all my classmates were done their dictation test. I was very disappointed with this and never talk about this with my family. My classmates started irritating me said “Deaf Boy” . This whole situation made total breakdown of my self confidence. I couldn’t talk to anyone normally because I thought that one should have to hear normally for any conversation. When classes start and teacher began teaching lesson I just look at her lips reading so that I would understand anything. Then teacher asked any question from me I just look for help so that anyone can help me in hearing her. Nobody in that big school share my problem. I was looking for help every time sitting and tearing at one corner of my class and ground. This whole thing happens every year of my growth, making and breakdown of my self confidence. This makes blockage of my mind that I can’t do anything in this world. With this mental condition I completed my inter school in DAV public school with aggregate of 64% marks. Then I was shifted to CHIRANJIV BHARTI SCHOOL with Non Medical Stream. There I had little change in myself. I entered the age of adolescence where I was in need of a good friend. In this school my fellow students are open minded. They are very talkative and believe in making friends. On the other side I was very introvert and shy boy. I feel very alone in the school. After two years of hard work I completed my high school. I was very happy that the schools were over and I had to lead another life and which way I didn’t know. I know that the schools were over but the study is not over. I have to prepare for Entrance Examination. After very hard work of study I failed and would not be able to clear even a single entrance. Then I decided to do job and continued my study through correspondence from IGNOU University in BCA. Again, it was my bad luck or I did not work hard for BCA because either I was busy in my job and did not have time for study or I thought that whatever I was earning it will be enough for me to sustain life. Then my life changes totally when GOLU entered in my life. My life totally changed because of him. His way of impressing people is very cool. With his communication skills he can make anybody thinking. His thinking becomes my thinking he is very negative about girls. He changes everything in me about my lifestyle, my way of thinking, and many more changes. It seems to be really cool to me. I was staying happy and I forgot everything about my problems, mental breakdown, torture, problems everything which makes me feels negative. Because of communicating with GOLU my whole mindset had change. I start believing in myself, in people and in life. I become very positive about life. I started living happily. What I say this happiness is “excitement without any future plan” or “over confidence” The only thing wrong in this whole happiness that I forgot my education, morals and everything which are very necessary for me and my growth. May be it was natural or my fault. I think it is natural like a volcano. I was very excited about this happiness given by GOLU to me. Then my life starts changing day by day. Happiness becomes very necessary for me like a drug addicts need drugs. I did everything for being happy. Going disco and pubs becomes very common for me. Every twice a week I used to go disco and pubs for wasting money. It becomes lust for me to enjoy my life. For making more money I took loans and have credit cards. I did not know whether I was going on the right path or not. But I think it is just happiness that makes me comfortable in life or to sustain life I need happiness. I was wasting my money here and there which is of no use to me nowadays. I Spent around RS 40000 on marriage of my elder brother for which I had loans because my father did not know that I was going on wrong path. Now, I don’t either have job or money from which I can buy happiness. I came to realized that happiness can’t buy from money. All those happiness which I enjoyed in my past time were fake. I realized that this happiness can not last forever. I don’t have anything now not even a penny to purchase that happiness but I am not feeling sorry for this time instead I thanks to God who show me the right path and realizing me about my past. But still there is a Question in my mind “It is the only fault I did in my past time for which I am struggling now?” The only struggle for getting success in life is Job. If I got job everything will be fine. I am going for interview since three months. When interview got over every employer have only and only one answer"You can leave for the day and we will get back to you on call"